


Shinigami Be Damned

by Officer_Jennie



Series: Requested Works [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Humor, Scene Rewrite, a bit of character hate towards Orochimaru: be warned, and Tobirama protek smol child, but he's neither named nor described so yeah, but instead of Tobirama getting a hate boner for the Uchiha he decides Sasuke's a smol child, pretty much just the talk with the hokage, sasuke centric through tobirama's pov, technically suigetsu is also featured snickering in the background
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-15
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-03-05 23:28:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18838954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Officer_Jennie/pseuds/Officer_Jennie
Summary: A redux of Sasuke's talk with the four hokage.Or: How Sasuke found himself surprised adopted by the Second.





	Shinigami Be Damned

**Author's Note:**

> For diabolicalquinn over on tumblr.
> 
> Prompt breakdown: When Sasuke has Orochimaru bring the hokage back from the dead to answer his questions, Tobirama instantly wants to protect what he sees as a small Uchiha child. Sasuke is not pleased with this turn of events but he doesn't really get a say in any of it anyway. Some dialogue is taken directly from the Japanese subtitles, others are rewordings of the original dialogue, and some are my own making.

Tobirama had felt this before. Slowly coming back to himself, returning to a body that was more dust than anything else. The feeling of having no feeling at all, his being less than human, a shell for his soul. No coffin held him this time but his brother’s presence was at his side all the same, a sharp and unpleasant chakra drawing his attention instantly to the one who’d summoned them from the dead for the second time.

“Don’t tell me…” He couldn’t help but sneer at Orochimaru, though he did hear someone else speak near him - apparently it wasn’t just Hashirama and himself that had been brought back this time. Two others stood to his left, one of which was his own former student, the very one he’d been summoned to fight during his first resurrection of sorts.

“You’re planning on attacking Konoha again, aren’t you?”

“I no longer have any leanings in that direction.” Not necessarily something Tobirama was inclined to believe, though Orochimaru continued before he could say as much. “Now, I’m merely creating a stage of discourse per his request.”

The person in question was someone Tobirama had no name for. Well, the _boy_ in question really, a child whose eyes looked far too full of grief for his liking. His own eye twitched as Orochimaru stepped closer to the boy, not at all pleased that such a small child would have any dealings with such a man - a small child that looked half starved, and must have been freezing considering the state of his clothes.

“My name is Uchiha Sasuke-” Tobirama froze at the name, his eyes widening a fraction “-and I have a few questions for you hokage.”

“Ask us anything you wish, child,” he cut in before any of his fellow hokage could speak, keeping a careful eye on the snake as he spoke, “but come here first.”

It wasn’t all that surprising when Sasuke hesitated - given the boy’s current company, a hefty dose of wariness would be healthy for him. But that’s precisely why Tobirama insisted again, making sure to sound stern but not harsh as he repeated himself, “We will answer your questions, child, when you come over here and stand with us.”

“Perhaps you would be willing to listen to him-”

“I’m not speaking to you, _snake_!” He sneered in Orochimaru’s direction, though it dropped the instant he turned back to the young boy - who looked more confused than anything else at the moment. “There’s no good reason for you to be near that man - he is dangerous, and traitorous as well. Now, come over here, don’t make me collect you myself.”

Something like irritation flashed across the young Uchiha’s face, but anything of the sort mattered little with his safety in question. “Collect me?”

“Tobira, you’re doing it again.”

Hashirama had that idiotic smile on his face again. It was likewise ignored for more important matters, Tobirama’s words a harsh whisper as he gestured towards the boy. “Anija, do you see how small he is? He’s half the size I was at his age.”

“You don’t know how old he is.”

“And-” he brushed right passed both the statement and the snickering, sneering back over at Orochimaru “-he’s currently in _extremely_ poor company. Now, are you going to help me or not?”

“Oh, don’t mind me.”

Apparently, on top of not teaching him to avoid missing nin, no one had taught the young man proper manners either. But before Tobirama could chide him for his rude and rather snippish interruption, Sasuke turned to speak with Hiruzen. “Sandaime, I want to now… Why did you make Itachi do it?”

“Saru.” The third was silenced by his sensei before he could speak, Tobirama’s patience wearing thin. “Child, I have already told you twice, and this is the last time I will repeat myself. Come stand with us if you want your answers.”

Despite his obvious irritation, Sasuke listened that time, and as soon as he came over Tobirama placed himself directly between him and Orochimaru. Only once he was safely away from the missing nin did Tobirama give him the go ahead to ask his questions.

Hearing that the child already had bloody hands at such a young age disgusted him. The village might not have been his idea but it had been founded for a purpose, and knowing the village had failed someone so young was admittedly difficult to swallow. Knowing it had been the boy’s own brother he’d killed made it even worse - it was no wonder the boy had searched out the company of missing nin and vagrants. Losing one’s family always left one lost and wanting to wander.

But it was when Hiruzen started to speak that Tobirama truly saw red for the Uchiha boy’s sake.

“You had an Uchiha _child_ ,” his teeth were bared as he snapped at his former student, interrupting him, “ _slaughter the entire clan_?”

Hiruzen seemed to be choosing his words with care, at least recognizing he was on thin ice. “Itachi had always been…a unique child. He understood what being a shinobi truly meant. Moreso than even those three times his age - he had the makings of a hokage even at the age of seven.”

“No one has the makings of _anything_ when they’re _seven_!” He turned back to Sasuke then, too disgusted and _furious_ to face his former student any longer. “And how young were you, then, when your hokage ordered you to be orphaned?”

“Seven.”

“Of course you were.” Apparently, seven was a cursed age when under the sandaime’s reign. “And, Saru, _we are going to have words about this_.”

“In defense of Konoha’s decisions, sensei-”

“ _Your_ decisions,” he corrected.

“-Itachi executed his missions perfectly, and prevented a revolt with his actions. Without his interference the Uchiha would have rebelled.”

“And who pushed them to that point?” Absently wrapping his arm around Sasuke’s shoulders, he tugged the child up close to him, entirely unaware of his startled protest. “Tell me, Saru, how many children _died_ because you couldn’t find a peaceful route? How much did _this child_ suffer _because of you_?”

“I’m not a child!”

“Hush, child.” He heard more snickering from a corner near Orochimaru but paid it no mind, once again taking in the boy’s choice of clothing and general appearance. How he wasn’t shivering apart was simply beyond him.

“Aaahh, I know this is...important? But, Nidaime-sama,” the blond man on the other side of Hiruzen drew his attention, his head cocked and brows knotted in confusion, “can you feel that? The strong chakra sources clashing in the distance?”

Now that he brought it up, there _were_ some rather strong signatures burning several miles away. One of which he recognized in an instant. Tobirama sighed, slipping his fur off his shoulders.

“I suppose we’ll have to deal with that - sooner rather than later.” Without any warning, he dropped the fur around Sasuke’s shoulders, patting it in place and ignoring the rather confused noise it earned him. At least the boy wasn't snipping or trying to argue with him anymore. “Any further questions will have to wait, child. Stay here for now. We have a mess to clean up.”

“I told you already, I’m _not_ a child.”

“Best just to listen to him.” Hashirama poked his head around, an idiotic grin plastered on his face - though what exactly he found amusing about any of this was a mystery. “He has a habit of adopting people - you’re not even the first Uchiha he’s adopted! You should've seen him with little Kagami.”

“I don’t _adopt_ people - I’m a teacher, Anija. I _teach_ them. Now,” he made sure to catch Sasuke’s eyes, “Stay here. We’ll be back after dealing with Madara, and then we can speak further on how _apparently_ Konoha went to shit after my passing.”

Sasuke huffed, doing his best to straighten his shoulders and appear taller. “I’m not staying here. I’m a capable fighter.”

“Yes, and Kagami thought he was too at your age.” Tobirama pinched the bridge of his nose. Honestly, how difficult was it to protect children nowadays? “You’re staying here, and that _snake_ is coming with us. I’ll bring food and some _proper clothing_ for you when we get back. You’ll catch your death of cold in that!”

Not that he could actually _tell_ if it was cold or not, since he couldn’t really feel _anything_. But that was beside the point. Clearly _someone_ needed to be the boy’s keeper, and if no one else was going to take care of him then not even the shinigami could keep Tobirama from doing so.

Would probably be a lot of work, judging by how pouty and irritated the boy was, but he’d dealt with worse before. Moody teens couldn’t scare Tobirama off, and Sasuke would be no exception to that.


End file.
